Move, look where the camera is!
Is that your mic?
It sucks. Well OK, OK.
Remove the thing there.
Now, perfect!
Hey people, not so much light, the president doesn't like that.
No, here, bring another light please.
I'll go look if the president is ready.
Here.
I just finished your speech Mr President.
So, what do I say?
Well, that everything is lost Mr President.
- OK, but how do I say it? - As usual.
My fellow French, the situation is grave but not hopeless.
Once again France has to face events
that demand from all its citizens some sacrifices.
The Chinese hordes have invaded Europe and are at our borders.
During its history, our country has had to face many assaults.
Proud children of this country
splendid assault, discipline, abnegation, honor
the French sacrifice, once more the world is watching
OK, let's go.
The situation is grave
but not hopeless.
Once again
France has to face
events that demand from all its citizens
a total spirit of self- sacrifice.
The Chinese hordes
that have invaded Europe They're all vicious and sadists!
are now at our borders.
They'll torture!
During its history, our country has had to face
They'll impale, they'll rape! Do you hear me?
many assaults.
But it's with a serene courage You don't care
that we look to the future. There's 700 million of them!
Indeed, we know that the proud children of this country
will have the magnificent burst Are you listening to me Régis?
that will allow us to throw the enemy 700 million Régis!
out of our borders!
700 million what? Dollars?
Sex, sex.
Discipline
abnegation
sense of honor
the sacrificial spirit of the French people
will once again work wonders.
In the most tragic moments
the French have always done what needs to be done.
They've overcome every obstacle and impediment
Mr Monclair, let me go. and finally, they won!
Let me go, my father is waiting for me, we have to go!
But where my dear, where?
Where, where? I don't know. Indeed, we know that our citizens
Anywhere. Do you understand? will have the magnificent burst
It's war. It's awful. that will allow us to throw
Yes, it's awful. the enemy out of our borders!
God knows what the future has for us.
In a few days maybe we'll all be crushed and wiped out by those masses.
the sacrifice of the French will once again work wonders.
So my dear,
I may not be your type of man
but I'm sure that you've never known love?
Have you ever known love?
Well, you know, I don't want to profit from the situation
but you must admit that it'd be sad.
Well, I mean if we're screwed...
In the most tragic moments
the French have always done what needs to be done:
face the enemy.
What the fuck is she doing?
Unbelievable! 700 million chinks at our borders
And you can't even be arsed to know where this fucking nuclear code is!
But also our atomic power!
I said to the minister of defense that
salvation can only come from the land army!
I'm sending a solemn call
Sure, only from the land army!
to all the people of the nation
The minister got out in a helicopter, so!
Wow, the air force are so good.
Keep France's honor and freedom,
its greatness and its dignity
I ask the nation to keep its composure.
The country will be defended because our citizens will fight till the last!
Mr President, your speech was remarkable
The air traffic lane to New York is free. Let's go!
I ask the nation to keep its composure.
The country will be defended
because our citizens will fight till the last!
For fuck's sake!
This fucking key's gotta be somewhere!
It's written in the secret instructions in the event of a conflict.
I don't know where we put those bloody instructions.
nuclear codes
30% off for the brave Chinese soldiers
Chinese in Paris
The public order has to be maintained in the capital
that's why the police forces are at your service.
The church has always seen the struggle of the Chinese people with a kind eye.
I won't bless you my son, because this isn't a custom for you
but the intent is there.
The press is with you General.
To inform the people about all the social things that you've done.
And that I hope you'll do here.
Thank you. I won't need anything right now.
But I don't know Paris very well.
I will need a small escort.
Certainly General, it will be my pleasure to drive you myself.
Here we have the Place de la Concorde.
It's very big, kind of deserted, but we can build!
- With God's help. - Yeah, whatever.
No, it's no good.
And the great palace? We can compartmentalize it.
It could be very nice, and enjoyable to live in.
- No, it's no good. - No good? Oh my god.
What about the Invalides? That's military!
Maybe we can raise the height.
No, it's no good.
God will inspire you!
Here, I wanted to show you that, it's the national assembly.
No, it's no good.
You gotta put up with him.
Isn't it good?
And the Elysée palace?
No, it's no good.
Oh God, why have You abandoned us?
Here's the Madeleine church
I don't offer it to you, because it's a church, a cold building.
But we would gladly see the reason of the people following the reason of God
which has always been the same by the way.
The church is always quick to change sides.
The press has always been a pain in the ass!
Anyway it's no good.
I'm sorry your honor, I don't know what to show you anymore.
What's this monument?
That's the galeries Lafayette, a department store.
I don't think that's interesting for you.
Yes it is. Very interesting.
- Really? - We're going to look at it.
♪Something is happening on each floor♪
♪in the galeries Lafayette♪
♪Something is happening on each floor♪
The headquarters of the Chinese forces will be in a department store
on the right bank of the capital.
The placement of this building, its dimensions,
and its lack of partition played in favor of this choice.
The Chinese High Commissioner said that this structure
has the double advantage to support community life
and to allow easier surveillance.
All the equipment and goods will be moved away by the Chinese troops.
According to the orders of the central board
whose foundation is Marxism- Leninism
we have to appoint a French government
to assist the Chinese authorities.
The candidates will have to present themselves here tomorrow morning.
In Indochina I was in several commitments.
After that a few trips to study
I think I'm the man you need.
I was member of the communist party for 15 years, excluded 5 years ago.
I always was for De Gaulle, and he was one of the first to support you.
I was in the OAS, I was in Algeria, Katanga, Yemen.
By the way Mao has always lead my thoughts.
I believe in Marx, sir, and the socialist party
is the only one that didn't betray me!
I don't understand.
I'm a Chinese teacher.
Are you speaking Chinese right now?
No, I'm speaking Hebrew now.
But the fact that I speak Hebrew doesn't
stop me from being a specialist in Chinese.
That's a message from Beijing
The central board
picked the French governor
a financial adviser
that once made important deals with our country
Mr Hervé Sainfons de Montaubert.
Mr Montaubert?
Yes, hello.
Sorry.
General Pu Yen is waiting for you.
Of course, Governor,
you can take any house that you like the best.
the chamber of deputies, the Elysium palace, even the Eiffel tower
But you must choose very quickly
because we'll soon transform other buildings in warehouses.
Well,
I'll do my best, you can believe me when I say that I'm very sympathetic,
very honored.
Do you mind if I get back?
Goodbye gentlemen.
Ministry of National Defense?
No, too belligerent.
- The presidency of the council? - The Louvre sir!
To keep some kind of nobility.
Versailles then.
Versailles can't be turned into a warehouse!
Gentlemen, I beg you...
Wisdom orders us to model ourselves on the occupant.
I know perfectly the Chinese soul
we will settle the government's palace
in a place that presents the same characteristics as their headquarters
without offending them, they're easily offended.
Hello
Why not.
Headquarters of the French government
Block the road.
Governor?
Bravo, it's very...
Bravo, are you converting?
Of course, chinks don't like accessories
French do the same with Chinese food buddy.
To show their contempt for the occupant, right darling?
Albert is right, plus you won't get rich with that, Régis.
Don't count on us, resistance is starting.
Specialists are sure, it's mimosas.
Now for Franco- Chinese news:
General Pu Yen, the High Commissioner in France arrived at Beijing today
He should be received right now by the central board to which he shall review
the current situation in Paris.
General Pu Yen has arrived from Paris.
I read your report about the French occupation.
Without violence, congratulations.
How did the French authorities react?
The president fled to the USA.
Like most European leaders.
Except the queen of England, who is in Hong Kong.
Now we should see
how you'll organize France.
According to the history of Europe,
we noticed that the occupant's error has always been
to leave too much autonomy to the occupied countries.
So the central board has decided
that each territory that we're occupying
will only have one industrial activity.
Switzerland will only build watches,
Italy pasta,
the Netherlands bikes,
Germany electrical goods, etc...
We have to pick France's activity.
Bring me the French file.
The French file.
Our secret services have brought us this file
that the Russian services brought them
that they took from the American secret services.
UN's secret services report.
The conclusions are always the same
French people are the greatest drainers in the world.
What does "drainer" mean?
Drainer: a person or thing that drains,
or a rack near a sink on which washed dishes, etc are placed to drain.
It has something to do with pipes.
Since they're great drainers, the French
will only build pipes.
I think that it's wonderful of them to remove
everything so we have room to build pipes
What are we going to do with all those pipes?
Don't think about that honey, the Chinese must have a plan.
The Chinese...
Yes, they're here and they're the masters!
I'm alright with that , I've got to say, the more I see them working,
the more I understand their doctrine and action.
The industrial society ate the individual
The man behind a machine was himself a machine.
So, now, this return to manual work
gave him back his dignity, his greatness!
France's imperialist and bourgeois politics are for pleasure and idleness
spread to the people, really swept away all moral values.
That's also why we lost the war.
- You're on their side - Well, yes,
I'm on the side of national and Marxist renovation.
And I want to contribute to that because the world progresses, the future is bright!
No one, you hear, no one, can change the course of history!
What about love?
My dear, there's only one love left, the one of the people
- What are we waiting for? - I don't know, we'll see.
It's nice that there's a queue, it proves that there's something to wait for.
I don't understand Governor why the French are panicking.
They are queuing to store supplies. I don't understand.
Like our Chinese saying says:
to flowers butterflies, and to lettuces hare.
Sorry?
It means that each population has its own diet and customs.
For example, take us, the Chinese, rice is our main sustenance.
We'd never think to take anything from your local resources.
Well, Excellency, I'll immediately publish a report to reassure our population.
Please announce another reform too.
French people use to tire themselves too much in fornication.
And they lost their physical and intellectual forces.
And caught this awful illness of the burning piss.
So, to regenerate the French people, we'll forbid fornication.
Excellency, we've seen 5 republics and none was as concerned
about the French people as the valiant Chinese republic.
It's not finished yet, Governor.
The greatest danger for the French people
remains in that dreadful slaughter on the roads.
It's true that French people drive like assholes.
They're completely enslaved by cars.
So, our High Commission has decided
to completely remove cars.
And this destruction
has received the name:
Operation Long Dragon.
The suppression of cars,
except those that are essential to the sovereign people
has been decided for your own good.
You must be glad about this action from the Chinese High Commission.
Leave to the Chinese drivers
your foul, polluting, dangerous and imperialist vehicles.
Our specialist covered in concrete all your Mediterranean beaches.
to put there the cars waiting to be compressed
and those cars will be deported to China, where we have space.
The suppression of cars,
except those that are essential to the sovereign people,
has been decided for your own good.
You must be glad about this action from the Chinese High Commission.
Leave to the Chinese drivers
your foul, polluting, dangerous and imperialist vehicles.
By leaving the keys on the dashboard, the key ring too.
It will be destroyed, as an outside symbol of a retrograde era.
The Operation Long Dragon, ordered by the Chinese liberation forces
What? Hey dad look, it's ours here!
Yep, that's ours.
Hervé! It's ours!
No! It can't happen!
Stop!
Feeling better?
We'll be avenged, I swear it!
Can I take you home?
Shit, how do you still have your car?
Yes, I've got an exceptional permit, to circulate in the people's interest.
So, if you wish.
Not bad, eh?
Emile, how much do I owe you?
- Two white, 12,000. - What?
12,000 bucks for two white? What's wrong with you?
I gotta find it and bring it buddy.
If you ain't happy you can find the chinks.
Transportation isn't possible anymore.
The last thing they found to fuck with us.
Permit to circulate for trips longer than 20km.
I only brought back 24 bottles last week.
And it ain't easy with a rickshaw.
Ain't that a sad vision! Chinese pulled by the French!
Even more since that story must earn someone money.
Always the same!
The dude who started that, he can drink some white for 12,000 bucks!
1964, special cuvée from the time, gift from the French podometer company
Wow buddy, I shouldn't have worried about you.
I was even ready to offer you a job as pipe builder.
Don't worry, things are going great for me.
I can say that the business is running well.
Do you know that people start saying podo like they used to say taxi?
Come see this.
We don't get occupied very often, you've got to enjoy it.
It's a whole organization.
Very well, he managed the wall, crossing now.
Crossing went very well. Be careful, very good!
Be careful the last one.
Straighten up, be proud!
What is he doing up there with his flags?
We're calling rickshaws with semaphores.
You gotta figure things, the chinks requisitioned the phone lines.
Very clever.
33 Champs- Élysées
♪stretch, tight, bent, down♪
That's damn good.
You gotta do a good job, this is good, it makes them more flexible.
And it's easier with the music.
At your rickshaws please.
Merrily!
It's wonderful pal, even the chinks admit that they don't have that.
The chinks, the chinks, why don't you say the Chinese or the occupation troops?
Are you campaigning? You're on their side now.
You can talk, you obey them.
Yes, but I only do that to take their money. Money has no smell.
Didn't you understand that money is outdated?
No, I'm a little bit late.
All your life you only did shameful jobs:
journalism, advertising, porn, public relations.
And now that you have a chance to redeem,
you're still on the side of profit.
Well, you're hurting me!
- You're going? - Yes, certainly.
- You aren't going to walk back? - Yes!
- I'm paying for the ride! - I don't give a fuck!
The street isn't only yours! Asshole!
Garancière street
No, only to Levalois.
Alright then, Levalois.
What's all that mail?
Denunciations, comrade General.
Very good! Nice effort from the French. Let's take a closer look.
None of those letters are signed.
None.
That's admirable.
The French are modest and discreet.
If they like to denounce, we have to make things easier for them.
Write denunciation.
Booklets with detachable parts will be distributed.
Each citizen will have to keep them
and present them at the first requisition.
But it's not without pride
that the Chinese people grow soy.
Noble and ancient plant
whose virtues are even recognized by the imperialists.
Yes, we should celebrate soy.
Plant sensible to the duration of the day.
Whose farming is alike to the one of bean.
And that the great socialist poet Li Quan Chao sang with these words:
When the sickles are orderly after the harvest
and that the long horde of workers
heads towards the village
The soy fields rustle
a sweet murmur rises in the bluish air
we, soy seed, are proud
to feed the people.
Revolution is like soy
constituted of thousands of seeds, that are the workers.
I don't want to profit from the situation
but God knows what the future holds.
God? God doesn't know anything.
Only the central board, lightened by the Marxist- Leninist thought knows our future.
No, no fornication, it's harmful to the good of the masses.
The doctrine of the party condemns the taste of pleasures!
Oh no, it's bad! It's very bad!
And it's... it's not bad.
Not bad at all.
Stop!
- Who, me? - Yes, you.
Papers.
Denunciation booklet.
The denunciation booklet? The denunciation booklet...
- So? - I don't have any.
He doesn't have any.
Well, the laughs ain't over yet scum!
Useless brutalizing politically retarded comrade.
President Mao said:
communist not put aside
one who committed fault
on the contrary, use gentle persuasion
to help him reason.
You never denounce someone?
You commit severe fault.
We take you to civic police.
So, let's start over again.
You didn't have any booklet? Well, well, my son, I mean comrade
That's not good at all.
Yes but you... you're not Chinese.
Yes, now I'm Chinese, my name is Chang Pei Po
Now?
Yes, I've been naturalized since last May.
I suddenly understood where the light came from, before I was in a parish.
The central board heard my confession of faith
and honored me with Chinese citizenship.
But let's go back to you my son
I mean, comrade. So...
You've never denounced anyone?
No father, well, no comrade.
I can say that everyone that I know is in
the straightest line of the great democratic Chinese party's ideology
based on the revolutionary theory:
Marxism- Leninism.
Come on my son, well, comrade, think again
surely you must find a deviationism case.
Not much, can't think of anything.
A venial case would be enough
free your conscience my... comrade.
Don't you know anyone who
fornicated for example?
Oh, yes, I might.
- Say the names. - The names?
Yes, you need two people to fornicate.
Solitary fornication is hard to establish, except for exhibitionism.
Then I can't think of anyone.
- Not at all? - Not at all.
That's annoying, very annoying.
Yes, of course.
Or yes, one time, one time in a
in a small storage room, an unoccupied storage room.
- Unoccupied storage room? - Yes.
You mean a storage room where no one sleeps ever?
Almost never.
Well, here we go!
Here's a nice denunciation of insufficiently inhabited premises.
You see, we can do it!
Let's do it my son, I mean comrade,
write name and address of the owner.
Yes, that's Mr Lefranc, that's him.
What?
Nothing, that's Chinese.
Housing at the inhabitant unit. Here general Pu Yen.
I want a new room
for my general staff and myself.
Absolute priority. It's urgent.
Yes?
Hello.
Requisition department.
I've come to investigate the rooms.
What rooms?
You have been denounced by Ms Delion, your neighbor.
You have 6 rooms too many.
That bitch. Wait a minute.
There's a chink who wants to requisition the rooms.
I'll deal with it.
Come in, sir.
Oh no, I'm sorry mister, I'm expected by someone else.
Unsanitary premises.
The strings, chopped, with last Sunday's radish greens and
the week's potato peel, it will make a nice soup for tonight.
That's nice, because Grégoire's coming to supper tonight
- and he loves your soups. - Really?
Mr Lefranc?
Yes, that's here.
Requisition order.
What's that stuff?
Read that, that's the best!
I assume this paper is correct and we have to show him around the room.
Please come in, sir.
- Do you realize dad? - I realize very well.
This way.
Please.
You're the one not realizing. If you wanted us
to get in trouble, you wouldn't do it any other way.
Do you like it? It's not very big.
But if it's for you it will be fine.
Electricity should be back soon now, what time is it?
I don't know, see, I don't have a watch anymore.
I gave mine last week as a voluntary contribution
to the collective effort for resupply.
Well, I traded mine for a pound of butter.
- Yes but... - Ah, here it comes!
It's 8 o'clock.
You know, we don't need watches anymore.
Yes, to get butter.
You'll end up by persuading us that those power cuts are useful.
Anyway they're required for the effort for renovation
and for destructuration of the popular economy, that's certain!
Well, this smells really good!
Yes.
They requisitioned the small room in the back.
No? I would have never believed that!
But tell me, how many are they?
God knows.
Sorry to disturb you
but I think that the pushing water system is stuck.
It's the flush again.
French equipment, always unhinged.
Come with me, I'll show you.
The small room in the back...
No, don't push.
Yes the small room in the back.
And where are we going to do it now? Where?
I'm sure someone denounced us, I'm sure of it.
Bastard! If I knew the scum who did that.
And that was down with the curtains because of the lack of fabric.
I wanted you here to celebrate my first billion.
Well, that's not why I came.
I came to see the new TV show.
Yes, because Grégoire offered his TV
to the popular collection for the masses' knowledge.
What a moron!
I came here to eat because there's always good stuff at Régis'.
Here, this is one that the Chinese won't get!
Neither this one.
Thanks, to your health Régis, to your first billion!
You're right, you gotta rip off those bastards!
Quieter Hubert please!
He's so reckless! You know what he does?
He writes chunk go jom everywhere in the subway's halls.
What does it mean?
Something like Chink go home.
If you want to watch TV it's on now.
Dear viewers,
allow us to give to your hearts the serenity provided by compliance
to Marxist- Leninist ideology.
As part of the civic information of the popular masses
here's our new show:
- The televised pillory - The televised pillory?
The televised pillory
A program from the revolutionary agency of radio broadcasting and television.
every day, the French will be able
to hate, in a complete independence of mind
a bad citizen guilty of acts contrary to the interest of the people.
Pretty colors heh?
This is better.
It's happening every day.
Today, Silverstein David, 46 years old, an awful trafficker
guilty of storing bicycle tires and Mercurochrome
thus seriously hurting the community.
Watch closely this face of a dishonest man.
Gaze upon those deceitful eyes,
those lips, thick and gluttonous,
that hooked nose.
Hate Silverstein David.
He really looks like an asshole.
What a shameful guy!
Really gross, I'd rather not watch this.
If you really want to unwind
spit at your television
spit at the image of this vile trafficker!
Tomorrow, we'll show you another bad citizen
Ronberger Pierre
convicted of trading his tobacco card for a identity card
in the name of Mohamed Ben Hassam.
That was the televised pillory.
We'll now go to the Champs Elysées
where a military parade is currently happening
to celebrate the liberation by Chinese troops of France
that was oppressed by imperialist, capitalist and bourgeois powers.
To you Les champs élysées.
Here the champs élysées, the parade is going well
I'm scared when I see all those Chinese.
But... The one here, I know him!
That's general Pu Yen, Chinese High Commissioner
in France that's presiding over the ceremony.
Can you believe that? We've got the Chinese High Commissioner at home.
That's disgusting, I'd rather not watch that.
Fuck!
Fucking hell!
What's happening?
I wanted to repair that goddam flush.
I don't know why you'd do that, it's been that way for 6 years!
Look at this.
We have the Chinese High Commissioner under our roof.
With toilets like that he'll have a high opinion of France.
You know that it's the valve.
To get a new one you've got to go to the plumber six months early.
What if we asked General Pu Yen for a favor?
Don't you get the feeling that it's not in his contingency?
We should at least try.
You know very well that I don't speak to those people.
Anyways it's fixed.
The 7:40 patrol's coming, hurry up you'll be late.
So the 15' pipes?
We've got 409.
- Very well, so the 12' junctions? - 4006
- The double 29'? - 80
80 that's it, and the 16', Major Pu Chin's special order?
- We've got 3 of them - Do you have a return?
Yes we do.
Hey Grégoire, it's been a long time since we haven't...
Listen Stéphanie, I told you not to talk to me about that anymore!
All energy spent on another activity than work is a crime against the people.
The people? I don't give a fuck! I'm 22, and what I want is...
Debauchery and fornication are the fiercest enemies of productivity.
But I don't give a fuck about productivity! What is want is...
When I think that you're lucky enough to have General Pu Yen under your roof!
He doesn't seem to dazzle you with his standing!
By the way, I would like you to arrange a meeting with him.
Aren't you dazzled enough?
Yes but I have interesting ideas to submit to him.
- I don't speak to that type. - Do it anyway!
They don't understand that! Fornication!
What the fuck are you doing? Get to work buddy!
Excuse me, sir, is His Excellency here?
OK, sorry.
Governor, perfect.
I noticed in your compatriots
an important amount of suspicion towards the Chinese troops.
Yes Your Excellency, some French keep being unaware of your generous action
and ignoring the admirable example you're giving to the world.
I was rightly coming to suggest to Your Excellency some dispositions
that may bring back a smile to the surly face of those illiterates,
those politically retarded.
Here, it's about a rather vigorous method
No Governor, No.
If happiness is an obligation
it's not really happiness.
Only a semblance of happiness.
Yes of course, only during occupation periods, we're used to ersatz.
Listen comrade...
The French, morose,
think that the forces of happiness aren't released in them.
In China, on the other hand
forces of happiness completely released
and the people sing, even dance
happily participate to the collective party.
So, the French people have to do the same thing.
Well that's a very good idea!
The dance, the sing, the collective fairy, my dear Chinese
They call her the little...
Our popular army for occupation
will offer to the French people a real Chinese party.
A real Franco- Chinese party!
And that will forever strengthen, the indestructible bonds of friendship
between your great people and mine!
Marxist- folklorists associations
Olympic medal
Winners of the Tour de France
Long live the Franco- Chinese collaboration
You know that I only accepted this invitation to please you.
Sure, and to please Régis.
Yes, he's late.
You know that those two really have to be tortured to want to meet this chink.
At last, here he is!
Look at this!
Mister comes in a car and still finds a way to be late!
I couldn't find any gas, I had to go to a hairdresser.
He took me for 35 and a Bayonne ham.
If it keeps being like that I'll leave it in the garage.
Well anyway you still got your rickshaws.
Rickshaws were crafts, now I'm in serious business!
Comrade your invitations please.
But we know each other!
Wait, where did we see each other?
Have you ever had trouble with the civic police?
- No - That'd surprise me.
Well. I'm sure I've seen your friend somewhere!
- No trouble with the civic police? - Never.
You're lucky then! You're next to comrade General Pu Yen.
Come, follow me.
Well that's...
Here, take some.
Come.
The lady here.
And the gentleman there and there.
You go there, the sir with the hat.
Here.
It'll be nice here. I go there.
I gave them 500,000 shit like that
32km of streamer, 16 tons of confetti
and, I don't remember, 230,000 paper hats.
You're unbelievable.
What will you do with all that money?
Property investment, I just bought the opera.
At first the Chinese tried to handle it.
Just that governing Europe, Asia, even the whole world that's one thing.
Leading a ballet, an orchestra, technicians,
choristers, that's something else.
So, they wanted someone to deal with it.
I knew it, I send the money and...
Here's the flamboyant hero.
Governor.
High Commissioner.
I did everything in my power so that this party will please Your Excellency.
In the Chinese- French friendship!
We'll see.
France's elite is here.
A merry people are a happy people.
Starting from this evidence, His Excellency,
the Chinese General High Commissioner in France
wanted, according to a poetic and completely Chinese expression,
to unleash the forces of happiness.
It's a great honor for me
to assume the responsibility for this wonderful campaign
that will now give back to our popular masses their natural cheerfulness.
And now
I'll ask to the General Governor
to release officially and symbolically
the forces of happiness.
I declare, officially and symbolically, released
the forces of happiness.
Music!
♪joy is rising into the sky♪
♪joy is infinite for the French♪
♪the glory is tremendous♪
♪the joy of protecting comes to the police, it knows a start but no end♪
♪Laugh, all the French♪
The joy of the people is a great comfort, isn't it?
Look at this, it's complete havoc.
Havoc? It's beautiful, that's all!
To the right!
Right!
- To the right asshole! - Shut up!
Asshole?
You don't know what's waiting for you!
My dear, I think we're facing a great success!
Allow me to kiss you, it's so beautiful!
And may the party keep going on!
The French, they don't know how to have fun.
What's happening?
I'm very displeased!
I... I don't understand.
Mr Grégoire Monclair.
Mr Régis Forneret.
Do you speak Chinese?
Very badly, but I'm learning because I love the language so much.
It's the language of the true revolutionary fighter,
and you know that all the French have a revolutionary in their heart.
You know Excellency, I learn Chinese because I like
the language but mostly because I like the people.
Sorry, I would like to talk to Your Excellency about a project that's important
to me: the complete rework of France's history from a Marxist- Leninist view.
You'll see, I think it's great. Truly breathtaking.
My lady, I'm sorry about this lame spectacle.
I'm sorry to have bothered you, I don't understand the French.
I had a lot of hopes for this party
to make happy and smiley the morose faces of the French.
I beg your pardon!
- But the intent was there Your Excellency! - Yes but...
Please. If I may, I know the French soul, I've been selling it, dare I say.
What the people want is spectacle,
both educative and entertaining,
that unite the traditional spirit of the French opera
to the Marxist- Leninist ideology.
For example, if you give me a subsidy,
you know that in France every theater is subsidized, even those which aren't,
if you grant me a subsidy, I'll put on a show, that will adapt
the French intellectual heritage to the reality of the revolution.
Yuron.
I'm sorry, I'm still a beginner in Chinese.
But you're on isn't Chinese, it's OK!
Ah, you're on!
Revolutionary culture is for the popular masses a powerful revolutionary weapon.
Carmeng, revolutionary opera with democratic and contemporary themes
We had friends in the trades, that was enough.
You're not starting again with that!
You have to be early so you're not late.
We, the Chinese, we value very much everything
that can remove the sense of evil in youth.
Do you mean that you're Chinese?
Yes my son I'm Chinese, I'm from the parish, well, we Chinese...
Today is a big day, a big day!
Can I introduce to His Excellency Master Abel Fruchdel,
from the comédie... the French Academy.
Very honored.
It's for me, to shake your hand, I'm moved.
Me too.
Well, I don't want to bother Your Excellency.
Well, this will start soon.
Ceiling.
SUBTITLES FOR THE BALLET
Let's sing and dance to express the revolutionary joy
that's provided by the Marxist- Leninist thought.
I bring news from the village's committee
The patrol from the section chief Don- Cho- Sey
wiped out a company full of imperialist devils.
Here's the section chief: Don- Cho- Sey,
with a prisoner.
This woman has been seen with the paper tigers
that are the rotten imperialists.
To punish her crime against the ideology,
this woman must be judged
by the popular army's tribunal.
Don- Cho- Sey, I repent.
I want to do my self- criticism.
Look at the bright future that the revolution is offering us.
Damn, she got away.
Don- Cho- Sey is judged for letting the traitor get away.
Don- Cho- Sey is degraded.
Let's look for the American camp where the wretched traitor
must have hid.
Carmeng.
What do I see?
The puppet soldiers of the American army.
Carmeng, I love you.
I know where the imperialist puppet camp is.
Bring the red detachment of women.
Let's run to slaughter the imperialist tigers and their servants.
Hey fellas, wait for us...
Don- Cho- Sey, I love you.
The working class can only free themselves...
definitively by emancipating the whole of humanity.
- Your Excellency... - An ideological strength!
Allow me to thank you for this moment, this truly miraculous moment.
Comrade.
And here he is!
The subsidy a little bit too expensive, but, well...
It's thanks to you that this exists.
You know Mr Fruchdel
that, to say, did everything in this, well...
- We don't know how to thank you, really. - It was wonderful!
Really, thank you.
Congratulations,... oh well.
Leave me some.
- To your second billion. - Thanks.
- Did you invent that? - Yes.
Do I have to blow?
Here.
Well, I'm drinking to the success of the fraternization,
ideological and cultural between the French and the Chinese!
That'd hurt me, I drink to the yellow's departure!
- What are you talking about? - What?
I'm drinking, to no one, to me. I drink.
Well we'll get them out one day those bastards.
By the way I heard that the Americans were preparing a landing.
They should mind their own business.
And I'm not even talking about the resistance, they're getting organized.
I don't talk about it because of too many enemy ears around.
But if I wanted, I'd say things! And it'd scare away more than one!
Things gonna burst soon!
Yes, yes you're right, be careful.
Are you alright General? Can I do something for you?
No, thanks, no.
You don't look very well, sit down.
Do you want a little cordial?
Cordial?
The drive to crime, the hard stuff. You know, alcohol,
I got a bottle for the big events.
No, alcohol is strictly prohibited by our brave democratic army.
Well, you know, when it's a cure it's not the same thing.
You'll see, you'll feel better.
It's an old calvados that my brother in law secretly sends me,
but I shouldn't say that.
You don't have something like that back home. Here.
Does alcohol ease pain and bring oversight?
Well, that's why there are so many drunkards in the world.
Come on.
Cheers.
A little bit more?
Here.
General.
General. Time to go to bed, OK?
Come on.
Quite a weight for the democratic army.
I ask for your forgiveness.
I lost face.
Acted like a lecherous animal.
Unworthy attitude from a superior officer of the democratic army.
Only punishment: death.
Death?
You're not going to kill yourself for that, right?
Yes.
Come on, don't do that, there are already enough dead through wars.
- I forgive you. - No.
No way to forgive you.
Me, I kill myself.
But you're a fool!
No, not Fu
Pu Fu is my cousin.
Here, look, this one.
Come on.
- You got it? - Yes.
They're so...
They're so dumb, really, there will be such a mess tomorrow!
Here, hold this for a second.
No, but it was a joke, it was a joke!
- Stéphanie! - What are you doing here at this time?
Albert.
- They arrested Albert! - But who?
How who? You dare ask who!
But whose side are you on dear?
Well, come in.
Oh my god, you're not alone.
There's just dad in the kitchen cooking rutabagas.
Your housemates?
They're gone to their work, I was going to mine, I work with Régis at the opera.
- That's funnier than the pipes. - Yeah that's better.
Listen, I don't want to hold you,
General Pu Yen, you're not on bad terms with him?
No.
Well, then listen,
Talk to him, step in for Albert, because he can release him right now!
Yes, he's all powerful!
I beg you, do it. Do it for me.
Do it for Albert.
Fuck, do it for France!
Long live the Franco- Chinese collaboration.
The strength of mind must be imposed through weapons.
♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪
Happiness is at the end of sacrifice.
Communal action is the discipline of each of us.
My poor Albert.
In what state am I going to find him?
After 3 months of democratic rehabilitation!
And a 3 month trip!
Here they are!
Come!
- That's not them. - Yes it's them.
♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪
Which one is Albert?
Albert, my love, sweetie!
Those displays are completely inappropriate.
They show a soul in the grip of a conservative and bourgeois affectivity.
Call me comrade, will you?
- But my precious! - Precious? Purely a capitalist notion!
There's nothing precious besides the ideology that leads the revolutionary hero!
My poor Albert, you're not well.
I've never felt so good, comrade.
♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪
Here's your duck, gentlemen.
Here.
A nice game of billiards!
Start.
That's completely unacceptable, I know Your Excellency.
Those vile and coward attacks are made by a tiny minority.
Generally speaking, the French people are completely on your side.
- There weren't any casualties! - OK, the attack didn't cause any deaths!
But I fear an escalation.
I assure Your Excellency that the culprits will be punished!
And that generally, I say it again, the people are outraged by those cowardly attacks.
No, no...
- It's not very effective. - Yes it is!
Listen, you put that under your uniform and it protects you from everything:
bullets, shrapnel, darts, icy fluids, hepatitis, kicks in the ass,...
Please Your Excellency, this isn't the time to talk.
Sign the purchase order, I'll produce 1.5 million done in 15 days.
You know, you gotta be careful now...
Here.
- To your fifth or sixth billion? - Eighth billion!
There's 800 million Chinese, so it's 10 bucks per Chinese.
Well, enjoy your money while you can!
Because one day or another the masses will unmask exploiters like you.
All together with the imperialist gluttons!
If you don't like it you can denounce me to Pu Yen!
- He'll tell you to fuck off, I'm his salvation! - Well, anyway
the brutal exploitation and the cruel economical oppression that you and your kin
threaten society with, will soon be punished!
Sadly I don't think it's heading that way!
The materialistic and imperialist conspiracy has never been so powerful!
- Let's eat the duck. - Naturally we have to say it.
So the bourgeois reactionary and the enemy of the people are pleased.
- See all those attacks! - That's true!
The occupation troops aren't energetic enough, the retaliations are piddling!
Democracy and freedom will only succeed at the price of the harshest sanctions!
Régis, listen.
We have to ban all ideology made of weakness and powerlessness.
Each opinion that overestimates the strength of the foe
and underestimate the strength of the people is false.
I need another drink.
The Chinese must not be impressed by a bunch of imperialist terrorists.
On the contrary, they must be firm and intransigent.
Sure! They should reinstate the curfew, imprison, deport!
And shoot!
Montaubert is a puppet in the hands of the reactionary and decadent bourgeois.
- He should be replaced! - Yes, but by whom?
The fact is that Pu Yen is very worried right now.
Beijing command him to bring back order to France and he's looking for ideas.
Yes, and he doesn't have any, because his head is elsewhere.
- The heart too. - What do you mean?
Don't bother, I know.
That being said, get me an interview with Pu Yen, I have stuff to talk to him about.
So here's my idea: have you ever
heard of the role of the Helots in the republic of Sparta?
The democratic republic of Sparta?
No, in the antiquity, the republic of Sparta was
a republic where they weren't laughing every day.
Strict morals, iron discipline,...
Very good, very good.
So, to maintain this discipline,
the Spartans found a thing, they'd intoxicate
get drunk, if you prefer, a number of dudes to show the example of degeneration.
To show the others what you shouldn't do.
So, imagine that France becomes the Helots of the socialist world.
So the French show the other countries what we shouldn't do.
So the French eat, drink, stuff full of food, in complete degeneration.
They leave you alone. Only one policy and two advantages.
I think it might be a good idea.
I'll go to Beijing and submit this idea to the party's board.
Great idea.
The whole of France, place of debauchery. Reopen the whorehouses.
Let alcohol and petrol flow.
Generously distribute family allowances.
And double the number of non- working days.
Impossible.
French people already have 200 free days per year.
That's a detail. You'll do your best.
And regarding money, you'll get maximum help.
So the French resistance will fall
into orgy and lust.
Beautiful propaganda for them to submit to the other countries
some of them start to become agitated.
General, you're raised to the rank of supreme hero of the revolution.
Fuck then.
Cabaret of Paris, ladies & gentlemen.
That's good, very good.
Excellency it's a pleasure to work for such a great and noble country.
Here, go that way, through the emergency exit.
You don't want to get noticed.
For the sexy in Bordeaux.
- How much? - 120 thousand francs
- Per month? - Per week.
You?
La loupiote in Dijon, 60,000 francs, Le phaloclub in Carpentras 50,000 francs.
- Want to do your accounts now? - No, not now, I have my tour to do.
♪So kiss the glutton, the other is only signs♪
♪Wherever her petticoat goes, fly over the mill♪
♪fly over the mill♪
The French cancan!
It works, it works!
It's wonderful Régis, that's a real success!
Look at them, they're happy.
And you know, this is too small.
You should buy the building next door.
We could put in 500 extra people.
Buy, buy, do it.
All Paris!
Look at this!
Thanks to you, the rotten France shows to the popular masses
the spectacle of its degeneration.
The world shudders with dread while learning what's happening in Paris.
Quiet! Comrades,
The reaction is winning.
The bourgeois decadence reigns in this country.
Enjoying getting my chrome dirty?
Well, comrade, we're between comrades here.
France is a frightening example for other democracies.
We have to fight the lame state of mind that's got to our fellow citizens!
French resistance fighters!
Listen to me, French to French,
stop this debauchery, think of our national greatness!
Think of our national thinking greatness!
Cover yourself, you bad French woman!
You cannot defend France with your ass, even with such an ass!
Listen to me carefully, it's the French resistance
the whole French resistance, don't let yourself fall into debauchery,
debauchery is decline!
I do everything I can to help your political action, and what's happening?
People mess up my clubs, my shops are destroyed
and there's scandal in my cabarets.
Shit, if you can't maintain order, go home and stop pissing us off.
Revolution is nice, but mess isn't.
I'm sorry.
So I'll give orders tomorrow
to the occupation troops to help your action by all means.
All pleasure establishments will be militarily guarded!
- I swear it to you! - That won't be enough, that'll be worse.
I know the French, they won't fuck under a rifle's menace.
You know what you should do Excellency?
Your troops should show an example.
- What? Drinking alcohol? - Yep.
- Fornicating with ladies? - Yes.
Attend dirty spectacles? No, no, we can't do that.
- Opposite to our ideology! - Be realistic!
Plenty of French are willing to collaborate.
They're willing to be the Helots, get drunk every night and fuck like rabbits.
But they won't last if their safety is threatened by the revolutionary fanatics.
Those people need to be supported.
And there's only one way to do so: your troops should show an example.
Where do we drink?
Where we drink is the vagabond!
To yours fellas!
Isn't he cuter without the cap?
Look, seriously, look.
Hey, I was the one who found him!
What's happening? Come on...
No more bets.
That's it, the dice is cast.
It's raining, it's raining, shepherdess
Mommy, the little boats that go on the water
He is born, the Heav'nly Child
The good King Dagobert had his breeches inside out.
We can't allow those dreadful hordes.
That give an example to the people of the most shameful perversions!
- It's broken now! - Who cares?!
Exactly! And if the Chinese don't respect the austerity that seduced us,
the popular masses must kick them out!
We that are the elite of the nation,
we're ready to fight the enemy till the last drop of our blood!
- Exactly! - What we need is enthusiasm!
- And weapons! - We got some.
Be careful comrade.
We'll only attack at the decisive moment.
Come on, up.
That's enough, wake up!
Talk about the Chinese temperament...
You're a pussy buddy!
No, not Pu Sy, Pu Yen, Pu Sy is my father.
Come on!
Carefully, please, carefully.
Not that bluntly.
It's not possible.
Eating, drinking, fucking all the time.
It's not possible.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone, just a little bit!
Rest, I need some rest.
I have a hangover.
Where's my head? No.
It's not possible anymore! You know...
French people have been doing nothing but fucking, drinking and eating for centuries.
No civilized being could tolerate a quarter of it.
The troops are exhausted.
The brains are yielding and the nerves are dropping.
Immediate evacuation.
Shit, be careful! You'll get us spotted!
- Hello, Régis? - Yes?
- That's it, they're leaving. - Well, alright.
Gentlemen,
it's time.
♪Companion, do you hear? That's the scream♪
♪of the fox that's resonating♪
♪Companion, do you hear? That's the scream♪
♪of the duck that's shivering♪
♪But tomorrow the ducks will hunt♪
♪those dreadful foxes♪
♪But tomorrow the foxes will run away♪
♪in front of the ducks♪
- So, the Chinese? - No Chinese.
Oh, it's you! You scared me, be careful.
Look, here they are.
- Didn't you see any Chinese? - No.
- What do you mean? - I said no Chinese.
- They must have retreated. - Where?
- Into their headquarters. - To the galeries Lafayette! Let's go!
Careful with the fingers on the paint!
- Let's go. - Hurry up!
Careful with your feet.
- My feet! - I said careful!
Go through the no entry, that'll be faster.
Go, behind, go, go!
Madam...
Have you seen any Chinese?
- No, there ain't anymore. - They left.
- Then, we scared them away! - Thanks to me!
They ain't conscientious!
Is Beijing still far away?
8,500km
Shave the sluts!
There's one here, on the second floor!
Shave the sluts!
Shave! Shave!
Bravo!
Thanks, that's nice.
Hands, come on! There's enough for everyone!
Thank you.
My watch! Asshole, give it back! Come here dumb asshole!
Asshole! Fucking asshole!
Thanks.
What do we do with that?
Not this, the Chinese stuff, everything Chinese I said.
Who are those guys?
Don't worry, I'll deal with that.
Règis, the situation is serious.
We came to warn you because we didn't forget our friendship,
but sadly your attitude with the Chinese...
It's known. And the resistance looks for everyone who was with the occupier.
- Nothing can stop them, even us... - Yes, we started creating purge committees.
No one will be able to escape them.
Stéphanie has been arrested, and shaven.
- Shaven? - Yes. Unfortunately we can't do anything
No, you can't do anything for her.
Well, you have to hide, for a while.
Only god knows what can happen next...
Thanks guys, it was nice to warn me.
I don't have a minute to spare, please forgive me.
Shaven.
We never lost hope.
With a deeply rooted hope, we always thought that, following our impetus
the French people would drive the invader away.
We always believed in the final victory.
And we were right, once again, justice won.
We now have to rebuild our country, recreate our national unity.
We will do so by using all the energies,
all the abnegations that we unleashed
during a time that allowed us to recapture foot by foot our land.
Long live France.
Remarkable Mr President.
Mr President, it's all the press that warmly welcomes you through me.
Thank you my friend.
You'll give them a few medals.
Regarding Chinese surplus, I can give you a lot of stuff.
For example, 3,000 tons of rice.
What can I do with that?
Mr President, think of the developing countries.
Fair point.
On the equipment side, I also have interesting stuff:
600 tanks in perfect condition.
We can't use Chinese equipment.
The tanks are French Mr President, the ones the Chinese took when they came.
It's different then.
Of course, everything in the same vein, gear, canvas for tents, diverse items,...
rubber items.
Shaven.
Why did you want to come here?
Because there are some Chinese here.
They didn't leave all European capitals,
and where there are some Chinese, there's money for me.
He's pointing his finger at you! Do you know him?
Do I know him? I sold him all my rickshaws!